Setting the scene: Anthonys 30th birthday, a very cold, very merry April night. Friends, family and lots of foreign visitors. Anthony had dedicated his birthday speech to Henry, a two and a half year old nephew.

"Now everyone, please shut up. I want to talk to little Henry.

There was once a man who loved his family. He loved them very much, and he went down to the ocean

and he brought them back a bucket of water. Because he loved them.

Now, there was another man, he loved his family very much as well. He went down to the ocean and he brought

the whole ocean back to them. Because he loved them.

Cue peals and peals of laughter from everyone listening to the speeches.

Shut up everyone, this is important for Henry. Now Henry...

There was another man Henry, he went down to the ocean also, but he just went for a swim

and a bit of a surf. He loved his family, but he just went for a paddle.

And lastly there was one final man, he loved his family. When he went down to the ocean he stood there for a minute.

Looking out at the ocean he asked,

Why the fuck aren't I at Anthonys birthday?!"